Love Help: Create Togetherness by Opening Communication Channels to Each Other

If we try to follow the path from self-centredness to spirituality, from always wanting to be in the right, and to feel superior, to justice, from building castles in the air to understanding reality, and from allowing our emotions free rein to developing the courage and selflessness to experience true love - if we progress along this path to unity, we will find ourselves better prepared to live with our partners in peace and harmony, and in a better position to resolve our differences and solve our conflicts.

Communicating openly

In a true discussion, combative techniques have no place, and they prevent a couple from reaching any sort of conscious agreement on how they might extricate themselves from the situation and learn to live together in a spirit of unity.

So what could a couple in this situation do? Firstly, the question of who is right and who is wrong must be excluded from such discussions, because that always involves establishing one person’s superiority over the other, and such power struggles inevitably undermine a couple's sense of togetherness and unity. Of course, this does not mean giving up one's own point of view: nobody is obliged to subscribe to their partner’s opinions, and everyone has a right to their own viewpoint. Indeed, we can't help but think differently, so differences are only to be expected, and we must learn to welcome them. Two heads are better than one, as they say, even if they differ: differing opinions can at least show us that nothing is as simple or as obvious as we think. Consequently, it is not necessary for a couple to be united in their every view. The unity that is important is that of having a united approach to the marriage and to solving problems together.

Keeping the lines of communication open is perhaps the most important aid to marital harmony.

The best of We is conversation, and the greatest success is confidence, or perfect understanding between sincere people.


Consultation at its best means cooperating, sharing thoughts, building a bridge between minds. It is perhaps the highest and most spiritual of all human relations. Consultation is an aid to thought. It enables us to put ourselves in the other person’s place, to understand what makes him or her tick. But to consult effectively we need to adopt an optimistic approach, and to know how to listen attentively, then how to pursue a subject logically and systematically. Consultation is dependent on spirituality, and ideally entails our not demanding anything from the other person or wanting anything for ourselves, neither wishing to preach nor to assert our superiority. In short, it requires a balance between personal rights and self-sacrifice, and a spirit of true friendship.