When there is a problem between you and your partner, accept the situation as it is, which means acknowledging the problem but resisting any impulse to run away from it. The mere fact that we have accepted a situation, however unpleasant, puts us in a more favourable position to overcome it. Life is full of hurdles and every one we clear makes us stronger and better people. We can choose to look on every problem as an insurmountable obstacle that we must try to avoid, but this only deepens our lack of belief in ourselves and forces us to make endless excuses for our behaviour. Or we can acknowledge the problem and accept it as yet another challenge, as a potential blessing in disguise. At the very least, such a positive attitude will encourage us and strengthen our resolve, our self—confidence and our faith.

We should not expect to be able to solve everything, or to see results immediately. Nor do we need to react to failure by developing feelings of disappointment or dissatisfaction with ourselves. As we have seen, our mood depends entirely on ourselves and our own choices. Sweep away all discouraging feelings of impotence; banish 'difficult' and 'impossible’ from your vocabulary, and even from your thoughts — simply using these words in relation to problems has a crippling effect, and you find yourself in a vicious circle. The more you use them, the harder it is to act effectively, and the more difficult and insurmountable the problem will seem — which in turn will discourage you further. However, it is easy enough to decide not to let such words pass your lips: banish them from your mind too, for all too often their main purpose is to provide a handy excuse in case of failure. 

The important thing about getting her back for good is to look at difficulties in a positive light. Alfred Adler advises us to believe in perfection, yet have the courage to be imperfect. Even though perfection is unattainable, we must nevertheless strive for it constantly. Perfection should be our aim; however, we are only human and it is natural for us to have human failings and shortcomings. The important thing is not to avoid making mistakes, but rather to try to turn large ones into less serious ones.